Sunday, October 31, 2010

Seahorses and empty houses

What does a seahorse symbolize?

In the last couple of weeks, I have been asked this question often. After my diligent Internet search, I believe the answer is that a seahorse represents an independent, free spirit; unattached and untethered. Yet, seahorses have a strong protective instinct towards their family! Going by this, seahorses and I are a perfect match, and for that I am glad!

It has been a while since I felt like writing just for myself. Whatever writing energy I had in the past two months has been directed towards reports, plans and exams. Hey, I am a student, and I have the right to bitch about it! But there is definitely something about the Halloween weekend.This post celebrates just about a year of writing for me, and I am glad to have stumbled into the blogosphere. The blogging experience has often been like talking to the *imaginary* friend. The idea that someone may read what I am saying and understand what I am feeling is quite liberating, and exhilarating! Oh yeah, and it is often very scary! But somehow, its working out for me.

So what has changed in a year? A lot, but definitely not enough. Did I change? Yes, I learnt that I should know how to pick my battles. Like the prayer goes (read below), I hope I have learned that fighting a one sided battle for some things does not really help. I love a good fight, but indifference? That just pulls me down and I am not going there anymore. In no way does this mean that I run from my fights, but it just limits the resources I put in them. I don't know about gaining graceful acceptance (actually I have been told I pretty much suck at that, at last check); but, well, hopefully I have time left still. 

There is something about an empty house with a sleeping cat who refuses to acknowledge my presence, and also refuses to leave that makes me write. A year ago, it was a house with two roommates sleeping inside.

Nothing really changes, does it?

For anyone who is interested, this is the (commonly accepted) original version of the Serenity Prayer:
"God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.


Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as He did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next."