Change is the only constant. These are the five much brandished, amazingly clichéd words, meant to comfort ourselves and others about all the funky changes that make our lives as interesting as they are. For me tonight, right now, there is no comfort in hearing these words. Tomorrow may be different, who knows? In the last two months, life as I knew it went spinning. For an almost control freak, this realization is even more scary. None of these changes are unexpected, but since when did anticipating something make it easier to swallow? (;-))
I graduated from a Masters program which embodies "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." Since this is not my ghost typing this out, I guess it worked. One of the ritual rings of fire we pass through at KGI is a year long project with a company. To say that my project turned me into a caffeine fueled fiend would not be very wrong. But it was the journey and the people I shared it with that made it amazing. We had our good days and the bad days (and nights), but we rallied. "Blow their socks off" was what we lived by and worked for. Done. Oh, and then we all graduated. No more waking up to urgent team emails, sharing the 'crazy eyes' look, eight hour marathon meetings, late late nights working , driving down to get animal-style In n' Out, or the team's collective eye rolling at Dee's innuendos. Damn, I miss all of that, and all of them.
Graduation time = Family time = Emotional roller-coaster. This reinforced my belief that family is an entity best loved from a distance. That way, its easier to say "I love you" and forgive and forget. Just when things were settling down, it was time to bid adieu. Fast forward to the next few days, and I was back at the airport to say bye to a dear friend who was shifting countries. I don't think I have yet fully absorbed the fact that she is no longer a 25 minute drive away. Her apartment and the long conversations we had together always gave me the peaceful sense of being at home that virtual communication just can't match up to. Fast forward to the next few days, and I was back at the airport to see myself off on a cross-country trip to meet old friends. Conclusion: I am good business for the US aviation industry.
These were also turbulent times for many of my closest friends, and I think we all came through without too many scars. In the true spirit of the drama that my life is, there were some highly charged, emotional revelations. A few relationships were broken, some new ones made and some old ones remain unfixed. Sadness, hope and regret, all in a flux. I gained new perspective on old wounds, and was gifted a pair of rainbow colored glasses to view the world with. True story.
Its wonderfully humbling to realize the emotional strength of people around you. Its also wonderfully depressing to realize that you are not as strong as you imagined yourself to be.
I think I need more vitamins. Plus some Jack and maybe a smoke.
