Why do we make "friends"? Man is a social animal, agreed, but why are so many emotions involved in a friendship? There is all this love, joy, anger, jealousy, with some shine and glitter sprinkled around. Yes, we need people to talk to, share stuff with and just hang out, but why do we have a need to invest in them? Apologies for the multitude of frivolous sounding questions, but hang on and help me understand.
Psychological studies say that if a person can't form friendships they lose the ability to connect with society, and gain a label: misanthrope. Society frowns upon a person who has only casual acquaintances and relationships. You think not? Think about a girl who does only one night stands, and the label that comes to your mind! Not very polite, were you? I wasn't, at-least not initially.
To me, it appears that a vital element of friendship (or any relationship, for that matter) is reciprocity, the act of responding to a positive action with another. Simply said, its like give and take, without which very few relationships survive. So is friendship really about being selfless and all such other lovely "goodness of my heart" emotions? Or is it a barter, with strings attached? Me thinks its about being comfortable enough with a person that the act of reciprocity becomes effortless. In essence, a sugarcoated barter!
All of this leads me back to my original thought - if we can conduct business as a barter, why isn't the relationship of friendship the same way, minus the messy emotions?
Help.
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Riding the BART in SF always makes me think strange. This is what happens when one of the announcements you hear is "Don't use your child's pram as a doorstop". If a parent-child relationship is one of give and take, what isn't?
