Mine. Part III.

After doing all the keeda-kaand she could in the Motherland, the girl decides its time to shift countries. Welcome to Amreeka, ji. No more Old Monk and Kingfisher. Sad. Welcome to the land of JD and microbreweries. Yum. Always interesting to move so far away from home. The things you took for granted, no longer are. Relationships need more work. Finding new friends, harder than finding housing on Craigslist. But, we have established that the girl is awesome, and hence minimally troubled. What helped?

Stories and rumors and hope - make life so much more interesting and keep the girl going. Maybe they were about the guy with the green car, or the one with the curly hair, or the workaholic. The green car boy - lost cause; Mr. curly hair - still cute. Now, the workaholic. Heart-beat skip causer. Random sweet and sensible words-sayer. Spontaneously funny. The root cause that made the girl look back and remember all the crazy men she knows. Also unattainable, at last check. Oh well, that's the way the girl rolls (not). 

Oh, and how can she forget "shared property" or the "open relationship"? If the girl's life was a twitter feed, shared property would be #FAIL. The open relationship on the other hand, would be trending very well! One facebook status change, made on a dare was all it took. That, and the fact that the girl and the bestie gained great laughter from fanning flames. Equally evil, those two.

When the girl looks back at the last two years, she realizes she doesn't know when the bestie became the bestie! Knowing the girl, it probably helped that he cooked. Very well. Water - the girl loves to be near it, the bestie loves to jump in. The walks. The drives. San Diego. Malbec. Surprise(s)! Car-Bar-Net. Maybe the bed they shared, or the friends. Ink. Cards. Dancing. "Wild". San Fran. Long phone calls. Silence. Safety at 30. Red. The times when they thought, if only they were not so similar. The times when they are forever grateful for those similarities! Acceptance. Understanding. Most importantly, love.

Man o' man, by no means the girl thinks that this is a comprehensive list! The girl hasn't even mentioned the distant cousin she was linked with, and the distant cousin who wanted to marry her. Hey, don't blame the girl, the bawas are a small community! The sandwich-wala, who was the most important person around for 2.5 years. The girl is a slave to her stomach, also to be blamed on the bawa genes. The internet friend-of-a-friend, turned good friend, who the girl tried to hook-up with her BFF. They shared a love for slightly wonky late night conversations, peppered with references to 'mayo' and 'hunny'. The supposed asshole, who has never been but super nice to the girl (maybe it's her charm!). He was even nice enough (and drunk enough) to offer her an ill-fated piggyback ride. What fun! Oh, and the Army captain she met on the train? The girl had lunch with him on her visit home, played the perfect smart young woman, and there started another round of rumors. Fun fun fun. 

Who else? The girl also met a very open-hearted, ever smiling, amazingly humble person. The closest to a wise elder brother. Did she mention the other bawa guy who was her senior, and her nephew at the same time? Who fleeced the girl to get free tel-maalish? Also, the spiky haired guy on her team for the last one year. Brave man that one, to be the only guy in a 5 person (aka crazy women) team, but still afraid of insects. And the neighbor, alternating between being hot and being a slob. His cat, who ruled the girl's house for the past two years. Sidenote - If the cat was a human, it would have become the despotic ruler of the Earth-wide Kingdom of Godot. Scary stuff, that.

So the girl concludes, she is blessed. She looks around, and sees never-ending sources of inspiration, strength and love (and food and alcohol). Most of whom are okay when they see the girl break out into the trouble-creating evil grin. Almost all of them celebrate(d) the fact that the girl isn't a helpless maiden. And almost all of them are slightly scared of the girl's daddy dearest, because my Daddy strongest!

dangers and desires, in the dark

Some conversations in the middle of a lonely night bring about more revelations than hours of chatting in the sunlight. There is something about the sinuous embrace of darkness which makes thoughts easier to share. There is an illusion of safety which allows hidden feelings to bubble up, over and out. No wonder, moon-lit nights are preferred for stealth and serenades alike!

I believe that we all are alike in our desires, deep down. Unless you are a misanthrope, we desire to meet people who are similar to us, emotionally. Oh, there is a complementary 'opposites attract' theory also. As I see it, these opposites stem from the same source, and therein lies the similarity.

'Its a dangerous thing to know someone like you (or me) is out there.'

This remark of a friend made me think how vulnerable we are to this innermost desire of finding people who 'connect' with us. I hope you are lucky enough to find such people, may they be friends, family, a teacher, or a random stranger on a train; and that you are smart enough to realize it. The bumps on the road ahead will be less bumpy thanks to all the extra support you have under your tush!

Along with the charms of such cozy links, come the dangers of being open and vulnerable to another person. It ain't easy to let go of the inhibitions, and once I let go, I expect the same from the other person. An inability to do so, is danger #1. The thought of rejection, as if the other person doesn't care, is danger #2. The painful part is, that rejections bring back all the clamps and inhibitions, multiplied. That after this cycle, I will withdraw even more into my emotional shell, is danger #3. These people are in the trusted circle, so any backlash in unexpected. This unseen danger, is my danger #4.

Now why am I gushing on about this?

I have been blessed as at each stage of my life, I have found people who I could share my innermost feelings with! Oh sure, this has backfired a couple of times, leaving painful scars. Time goes on, scars heal. New places, new people, new friends meet. Old friends call, chat and email. If you are lucky (like me!), these intrinsic connections remain.

Live, love, laugh; and life goes on!